Red Eye

After hours and

Hundreds of dollars in therapy

Her therapist agreed she needed to find a way to punish Titian

But how ?

How could you punish someone who doesn’t care

That’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die

She racked her brain

And came up empty each time

There was nothing

Nothing at all she could think of

That would suffice as a meaningful punishment for him

It’s as if she never mattered

To him

Even on a deeper level

She atleast thought above all

They were friends

There was no way she imagined that entire friendship

The person who wiped her tears

After a devastating heartbreak

She didn’t imagine

All the time they spent after class

All the hours on the phone everyday

Did she imagine that ?

It’s so hard to tell the difference between reality and her imagination at this point

Nothing ever made sense

Did he hate her so much

That maybe somehow she deserved this ?

Was it her fault

She did initiate this elicit short lived affair

Did she imagine

What she thought he felt for her ?

She tried to think back what she could have done in their past to have angered

Him so much to have caused

Him to hurt her in such an irreversible way

Did he not want to be her friend that bad?

It’s just so hard to sort between what’s real and what’s not anymore

There is no way she imagined all of this

Never in a million years would she have thought he would have broken her heart in such humiliating way

And it’s not like she got any sympathy

Because “what did you expect with his history”

She Knew his history

But for some cliche reason she thought she was “different”

If I was a gambling woman I never would have saw that L coming

She just couldn’t get out of her head what did she do to deserve this ?

It was driving her crazy and it’s not like the answer would change anything

It was just the human ego and curiosity getting the best of her

He was getting married

None of this makes any sense she kept telling herself

He could have told her and she would have understood

Being blind sided and humalitied

Was more than she could handle

He never even apologized

Or held any accountability

It doesn’t matter anymore

He doesn’t matter

It made her sad for his loss

Because she knew how rare and genuine her spirit was

And how people crave her energy

She would be okay

She always was

But she knew a part of his soul was missing

And she prayed he found it before time ran out

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